She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
