in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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