He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
