My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
