my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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