pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
