sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Umm I'm too high to move.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
