She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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