quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you didnt know i had herpes?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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