I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
