Someone shit on the floor
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize