I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i think my cat just said my name.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
