Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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