he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
