I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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