omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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