He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize