Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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