You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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