Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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