Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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