I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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