then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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