You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
