i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
