I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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