...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize