Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
