just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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