Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
