I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
