9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
