I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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