I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
