We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
