Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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