he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
