Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
