you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize