Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I supernannyed him into submission
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i believe in u and ur pee
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
