Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
