I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
worst night to have a conscience
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How does it feel to date your dad?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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