SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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