Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
