are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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