You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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