guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
