His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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