OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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