I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We're using joints as your birthday candles
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
