I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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