So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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