When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
