Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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