I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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