I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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