OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
this is an emotional support booty call
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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