i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
