Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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