after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
