I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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