There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
