names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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