I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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