so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
