i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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