Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
