Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
