I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
