If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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