i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
