he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
it glows. i had to have it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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