god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize