i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
