porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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