At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
