how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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